Anyone truly striving to be a good and kind person must have the willingness to consider that they might not be succeeding, they must be willing to consider carefully the criticism they receive. The unwillingness to question yourself in this manner is always an indicator that something is amiss. Be willing to question yourself.
That said, If you can not find any truth or sense in the criticism, be willing to consider that it has no merit, regardless of the source. Consult those in your life, the people you respect and observe to be honest, kind, patient, intelligent, empathetic, and wise. The people who treat others the way you would wish to be treated. If they can see only lies in what has been spoken against you, despite your pleas for brutal honesty, you must be willing to discard what was said as hateful bullshit and move on with your life.
No one gets out of here alive, and no one who did anything worthwhile got out without someone hating them. Even H. H. the 14th Dalai Lama is hated by a government superpower. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to see you for who you really are. Not everyone is going to accept your intention as pure, or see your words and actions as honest. But do those same people treat others as you would wish to be treated? Are they honest? Kind? How much do they seem to value the feelings and experiences of others? Are they willing to admit when they are wrong? Are they willing to see when they have caused harm, to take responsibility and make amends? Do they care as much for others as they do for themselves? Do they learn from their mistakes? If the answer isn't a consistent and confident "yes!" then ask yourself how much power you are going to allow their words to have on you. Consider the very real possibility that you are hated by an asshole. There's nothing wrong with that. Look around. If the only people that hate you appear to be assholes - you must be doing something right.
The people you have in your life should be trying to lift you up, not trying to tear you down all the time. The people you keep in your life should be people you're proud to have by your side, and who you trust to have at your back. The people you keep in your life should inspire you, you should be a better person for knowing them.
Your enemies are your greatest teachers. Without them you have no opportunity to fully practice, nurture, or experience the qualities you are trying to instill in yourself. You cannot be forgiving if you are never given the opportunity to forgive. Thank those who treat you poorly, thank them for the gift of their cruelty. Then, without hate or malice in your heart - tell them to fuck off. They may be your greatest teachers but you don't have to hang out.
In closing - Thank you to all the wonderful people in my life, I'm so honored to know so many amazing individuals. I love you all very much, it just might not be obvious because I don't do hugs.
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