An Act of Rebellion

Something that came up multiple times this week in conversation was Art as an act of rebellion. Anyone who isn't an artist may not think of it too much, but pursuing a career in art constantly brings this to the forefront. I don't mean that the art one makes needs to be intentionally rebellious in nature, but that the actual act of being an artist in itself is an act of rebellion. 

Many people may roll their eyes at this because we have the teenagerish kind of rebellion locked in our minds, and everyone knows someone who likes to think themselves a rebel, builds their self-image around it, shoves it down our throats, and generally annoys the crap out of us with it. It brings to mind the people we all know who refuse to like or enjoy (or at least admit to enjoying) anything popular because their idea of being a rebel is liking things that the majority either doesn't like or (even better) doesn't know about. Their rebellion is just refusing to admit that anything commonly appreciated has much merit.

That's not what I'm talking about, but by the way, just because no one has heard of that obscure thing you love doesn't make it, OR YOU, better.

Sorry side rant.

This whole thing will probably need a second posting to do it justice because truthfully I just don't have time at the moment. I'm doing my taxes, and that's part of what brought it to mind.

Taxes lays out you and your place in your society in little boxes and everything has labels and forms and appropriate places to enter the appropriate information. The information you have as a working artist doesn't plug into those little boxes as neatly or ideally as it would otherwise. The whole process is just so awkward because you're translating things into 9-5/desk job terms. Does it fit? Of course, eventually, yes. But the very process of looking through everything for the best place to enter the amount you spent on art supplies or not having a W2 to file...just the whole process makes you feel like, despite being a law abiding, tax paying citizen, that you're operating outside of the system, despite being a part of  it.

That's the truth of it too, always has been. Artists occupy a very odd place in society. We have a place, always have, and it's extremely important to society whether or not the average person realizes it. But it's a place straddling the edge, on one side there's society and on the other are the fringe dwellers. The fringe dwellers are usually feared, because they represent what happens when you fail in society. Mole people are an excellent contemporary example of fringe dwellers. Artists...our place is right on that edge. 

Exaggeration? Not really. What's the average reaction to, "I want to become an artist." Most often it's skepticism and concern, "You'll never make any money at it." Being the most common one. Well, what's that mean? You don't make enough money, you become homeless, you become homeless you become a fringe dweller...So there you go, the concern supports it,  whether it's realized consciously or not everyone knows where the Artist lives: on the edge. We live on many edges but  I'm referring mainly to the edge of society's perception of success and failure.

Bottom line is that I'm doing what I love and what I love is art. In a society dominated by soulless desk jobs and 9-5's that rarely have anything to do with an individuals real love or passion or talents...I say that makes me a rebel - statistically speaking.

I'm doing my taxes and looking at my finances so don't worry, there's no ego or over romanticizing that. 

Honestly as a panentheist and a person that tends towards feelings of connectivity with everything and everyone...being reminded of it is actually surprising and jarring more often than not.

For me it's less, "Yeah! I'm a rebel! I live on the edge!" and more, "Wait. What? Where am I? What am I doing here at the edge of this giant gaping maw of a societal precipice?"

Yeah...so here's what I'm up to in the studio, it's slow going, sometimes what goes on in an artist's studio is actually as boring as watching paint dry, because sometimes that's what you're doing.

So that's where the night stand is right now. I've been gone on modeling jobs a lot this week so it's slow going. I haven't been around much during the hours that power tools would be acceptable, I don't want angry neighbors. Plus I've been working more on the coffee table which may be on its last coat on primer at last. Even with the studio ventilation and a fan on it still takes ages to dry.

And here's the beginnings of Green Tara, it's also slow going because it's been months since I've drawn with a mechanical pencil sharpened to a syringe point. I'm a bit rusty. But I'll fix her, never fear.

Sleep now. Then early modeling work. Then possibly a power nap. Then back to the battle with the taxes.